“OK guys, one more thing, this summer when you’re being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth of July brouhaha, don’t forget what you’re celebrating, and that’s the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males didn’t want to pay their taxes.”
Way back on July 4, 1776, the Second Continental Congress adopted "The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America," and today we celebrate by getting trashed and blowing stuff up. Which is pretty much the way they did it back then; in 1778, for example, General George Washington observed the anniversary by giving his troops a double ration of rum.
In honor of this great occasion, *bitter defeat* presents a selection of links that may remind you of what's really at stake when we celebrate our nation's founding principles.
The Bill of Rights
The first ten amendments to the Constitution, ratified in December of 1791
The USA Patriot Act
A document whose name would be utterly hilarious if it weren't so goddamn terrifying
"Imagine a Country"
On the growing disparity between the haves and the have-nots
But it's not all bad news. If you ever wonder why we even bother, this might help restore your faith.
Finally, in honor of the annual July 4 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, here is some unbelievable Takeru Kobayashi hot(dog)ness...
Kobayashi Vs. Giant Bear
Kobayashi makes a little girl cry
Kobayashi head in toilet
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
**UPDATE**
Not enough patriotism for you? Enjoy The DL's Star-Spangled Mashup.
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